Samatha answers some basic questions and introduces herself.
July 31, 2009
We all have this image in our heads of who we are, of who we want to be.
Our dreams, our desires. That big what we want in life stuff.
These desires, these images of self. They are ingrained, crucial to who we are.
Without them we’re lost.
So what do you do when you can’t live up to those desires, when you can’t reach that sense of completion.
Sure you can lower your expectations, you can decide to just live with being so desperately unhappy.
Resign yourself to forever be incomplete and forever unhappy.
But I’m not like that, I’m not willing to resign myself to misery.
Ever since I was a child I’ve always known what I was, what I would grow up to be.
Who I would grow up to be. Who I was.
Looking in the mirror everday , I’d see somebody else.
Someone staring back at me I didn’t know.
So one day after years of introspection, considering and dreaming of what could be.
I found the will to take that powerful first step, to do something about it.
So I could wake up and not feel like my life was all wrong.
I told someone the truth, about who I knew I was.
That I was a woman.
That was 3 and a half years ago.
Since then, my life has changed so much for the better.
I can look in the mirror and know who I am.
The ability to be able to live the life we want, without fear of reprisal.
To be able to say ‘this is who I am’ without having to show it in any way other than just being.
I have a lovely apartment, a wonderful partner.
But there is one detail..that is beyond my reach.
That sometimes seems so close yet so far away.
And that is surgery, I’m sick of crying, sick of it making me feel wrong.
In the mirror I’m female, breasts and all the rest.
But between my legs. I’m not.
I’m desperate to have surgery, to be able to feel physically as well as emotionally complete.
That is where you come in.
And I need your help.
I’m trying to raise 25 thousand dollars, so I can travel to the surgeon who can complete me.
Who will finally make my body in line with my soul.
Who can give me a Vagina.
I can’t raise this kind of money on my own, my family won’t and can’t give me the money.
The government certainly won’t. I’m a full time university student.
I’ve managed to save some of the money, but I can’t do this alone.
Please help me be complete.
Each week, I’ll update this blog with how far the fund has gotten.
I’ll include a video blog each week as well featuring any questions you care to ask.
Thanks, Samantha
